Sloven ironies

Endless nites did I stay, widout a ray of hope
Nd lonely did i walk in those moonlit shores
Wid fuming desires nd sensual delights
Nd shackles of silence blew a gusty breeze...

In front of those cutest eyes, while losing my senses
Nd at the end of dat emptiness, which spread a fragrance
Of her violet blanket, which slowly covered me!
Nd while listening to her heartbeat, there spread a smell of desire...

Dark nd cloudy storms surrounded my way
Nd I was losing even the newest dawns... forever...
In the chill of dat winter morning, she flew away
Piercing the deepest recess of my soul...forever

In-excusable

Wid patience did I wait,
Til d shade fell on ma enraged soul,
But fortune proved unkind,
With d (old) sweetheart of mine.

I'm nt saying I'll b sorry (again)
For all d things that I made u cry
I can't say I'll always do everythng u want me to do,
Nd I can't assure u I'll b true always....


But experience made me know
That you heart ws full of woe,
Coz dat true love is absent from me now
Neither did I kno (discovered) wat it is....

Farewell, my joy nd heart,
Since u nd I must part,coz
U are the fairest one I hd eva seen
Nd I never fetch up a design.....

To alter ma worst mind.

But I'm obliged to remain for u nd
In tears, will I spend the whole night.

When ur silence speaks...

Nuthin' much....

One of my worst weakness is dat, i do luv some ppl blindly and do care dem a lot....

And d worst of all d weaknesses is dat i do expect d same frm dem too!!!

And d key part is dat, wen i won't get d same, wen i'm ignored, or wen dey dun consider me
not even as a final OPTION( coz usually i am ) , it hurts, bleeds.....

And if i am ignored by someone(yea...it is d only one person), i do luv so deeply....so warmly....dear, i franlky feel my soul is charred.....

(Ur silence vehemently shamed me....)

Recognise me, hereafter only as a vague sinking memory, as someone who got mesmerized and dissolved in ur tears......

Some windows shud neva b ....

Well...now it is 1.10 am .I am abt to sleep. But lemme put dis down.

Secrets...U kno? Yea, every one knos naa...All of u will b keeping at least one secret wid u...won't u?Lolsss...dun say no!!!!

Hehe....A few minutes ago me talked wid an old skool frnd of mine. And he was talking abt his affair wid a gal. I kno him for d past 15 years. And for my surprise wen i asked d name of dat gal, he said," Sorry man, I jez can't....coz I 've promised her not to tell her name to neone...."

'Wowowoow!!!!!!'

I was a bit agitated wid his reply,coz i dint expect him to reply like dat, nd he was able to read my mind. He told me dat , it is not coz he dun trust me. He knos me well , nd even if he had told me her name, he is damn sure dati wud have kept it as secret....yet!!!

Yea...wen i thot further abt it , I found dat he was right.It is pretty hard to keep secrets.U need to have a well matured mind for dat. Secrets shud b always buried in dark. Wateva it mabbe if u have given a word to someone....it shud b kept at ne cost .

I do keep a lot of secrets, coz i believe ppl do trust me....bt to b frank, i'm not always worthy enuf frnds. I have broken many promises , coz frm my past experience , it shows dat , to gain someone, something, we have to loose someone on d oder war around.....

Yea, now i do admire dat frnd of mine for his_____ ....i dunno wat it is....yea i think it is d apt word is sincerity....which is missing in everyone nowadays...nd abt 20 years frm now, d word sincerity won't b in dictionary for sure....

Ok lemme wind dis up wid 2 famous [:P] sayings.....

1)Some windows shud neva be opened[Easy 2 say,hard to put into work!!]....
2)Promises are made to b broken (sometimes to bend)....


..................................................................................... mephisto`- (1986- )

14

Hehe....well. Friends, this is my 14th blog, nd I am riting it the fourth time,the first one was on feb 14, next one feb 23...which did hurt a frnd of mine bit harder, next one on 26, in which i revealed myself, bt someone didn't like it at all, saying dat i 'm not at all like dat,nd all..neways, it was my decision to delete dat one too,....nd one more thing frnds,
me not gonna delete dis one...:D
Well, dis one is sumthin' which seems funny, but, u kno....
Ok..Ok ...let's get into the subject.....

It' s all about proposals....yeah...but here we take only one case....'A boy proposing gal'...And y it gets rejected (not always)....but it happens....y so??

Ok...lemme put down ma views on the topic....nd at the end i ll tell u ma experience....lols ;)

There are lots of reasons for a girl to reject a proposal....let's see dem one by one.

1)"U kno, my parents....I am committed a lot to them...I jez can't disobey them...And i'll only marry a person whom they will suggest...they 'll find for me....i'm sorry...i jez can't...."
2)"Ohhh...how can i??? U are jez a frnd of mine.....I jez can't imagine u like dat......I love u ...bt as a frnd....nd i need u tooo...bt as a frnd.....i do care u tooo....bt as a......"

3)"U kno one thing, i am damn orthodox, nd my parents too....So I dun believe , u kno...this will happen....So i'll simply obey them....whoeva dey'll find for me , i'll accept him...."
4) Ok...now this one too ....his charecter (kayyiliripp) does count a lot,shud be luvin',caring, frndly and all dat....if d boy is trash, looted or crape or stupid...gals will simply say, "NO, enne kittillaa...poyi pani nokk!!!"

5) He shud be handsome,well settled and infallible....atleast, koora look aakaruthu...[see this is applicable to only a few girls....usually, gals dun believe in external beauty....bt we, boyz do believe , kettoo , :D]
6)"My path is different, not as urs, dun ruin ur life, u 've a good future....plzz leave me alone..."

7)" Holyyyy shitt.....wat the heck.....see i ll tell u, dis LOVE,ROMANCE,AFFAIR kinda things are stupid....dere is nuthin like dat....dey are simply an illusion, dere is no love ,only INFATUATION is dere......i dun belive in love....crapy things...,nd overall dey won't get fulfilled....nd den u will break into pieces.....dun even think abt......"
8)"Sorry dear, I am already committed!!!!" -GENUINE REPLY....

9)"I wanna study , so plz dun...."
10)" My family background is like, u kno...nd we are of the same age too....so i dun think ma parents will....sorry.."

11)"I LOVE U....BUT I JEZ CAN'T...IT'S ....IT'S JEZ LIKE DAT....DUN ASK ME Y SO....I JEZ..."
12)Dun waste ur time, I won't marry at all...." [:d]....ding!!!

13) Finally....yeah a combination of 2 or more of the above....d one above is an exclusion....it is the most hurting reply....

Fadin' shades...

Night!!!!!

Eternal night!!!

He was wandering in the valley of dreams....the valley of those shattered, unfulfilled dreams....in solitude... in absolute solitude....hmmm....

He seldom used to meet her dere...One nite, wen the tears frm his eyes got frozen, he told her, "Honey, if you come with me, we can stay forever,till the end...so dat no one can set us apart....".
She smiled, the light of her smile made the tears melt down, it rolled down thru' his face...slowly....hmmmm. His heart was burning....bleeding....But no one did care....on one...even GOD too....

"Come in...come into my heart...to put out d fire...to soothen it...."

She sat beside him...."Max, I've to leave soon..., dere is sumone else dere... waitin' for me...."

While kissing her warmly, while holding her tightly, while her eyes stared at him, while.....while the sharp silver knife in his left hand went right thru' her spinal cord , while her heart stopped beating....the dark fumy clouds slowly and patiently covered the full moon....as if to fade the single evidence away......

A splenetic overleap...

Session:1-Prologue....


Well it is not d first time me falling in love...bt obiviously, is the first time ma heart was broken...I feel no sense of certainty....i kno one thing dat, i ll always love u....and wat do u think abt me now?

U always asked me d question,"What do u think abt me?"

To b frank, i dunno d answer for ur question!!!....coz u r always mysterious....yeah u r....

Now i feel alone, lost and insecured....nd dere is no sense of safety...can dere b ne guarentees in life ? Plzzz do answer ,ok?

First of all i believed u to b an angel sent frm heaven(lolss.. a million dollar folly), to guide me d way to wat we call unconditional love....nd for me u r simply d truth....

Overall u r my best frnd...nd i always felt safe and secured in ur arms...u gave me strength and i gave u woes and dreams....but i neva expected u to come into my life so quickly....

Every time u went away, i followed u like shadow....wen u tried to hide away, i was right inside....yeah inside ur heart....

I 've neva been touched by neone as u did...i ve neva been moved, or kissed by neone as u did.....No one loved me as u did....bt u always failed to undastand me , my feelings, my emotions,my balance, my....everything....Neway it was not ur fault...afterall...hmmmm....


Session:2-A malicious tyranny...

Now i am in d darkness of nite, walking alone in dat lascivious seashore...a nite wid no moon....closing ma eyes does 'nt make ne sense...still i closed ma eyes....to my surprise , u were still before me....the sea was roaring, like a fire spitting red dragon, Soon i got hypnotised by d frozen breeze frm dat sea.....Thots abt u were drifting in and out in ma mind....the sea soon calmed down, and the wind stopped, den ma mind started fuming, and roaring....


I cud see d pole star blinking out dere on d dark sky....i searched for its reflection on the lavender sea (the color seemed to b like dat for me...it was not blue as usual...)....nd at last i found out something glowing in d middle of d sea...bt it was not d reflection, it was her eyes....her blue eyes were glowing like a diamond....i again closed my eyes tightly....


I heard a voice frm across d horizon...it was hers'...the moon was rising slowly....nd i saw someone walking into d shadows...it was she....i cried out....bt she didn't hear....she was far far away frm me....the ocean breeze was trying it's level best to carry my voice to her...but....

In meantime i realised dat everythin was an illusion, everything was a dream , or u can call it a fantasy or sumthin like dat.....

I was walking towards d sea....and the waves were rolling under my foot....nd i wanted to breathe u in frm the sea itself...nd i promise u.....i ll b by ur side even if d tide is high and wild....

Soon d pole star, its reflection, d risen moon, everything disappeared and dere was complete darkness dere....bt i kept myself moving towards d horizon frm where i heard her voice...

A mermaid was sitting on d nearby rock....she saw me moving like a fallible insane...then she smiled at me...and sang.....


".....Caravan of life,
By day and by night,
Every tile muz b a part of our life
If it's shadow, or if it's light......"